Overanalyzing 5918 Scorpion Tracker

Ah yes, peaceful desert exploration! WRONG!!!! There’s absolutely nothing peaceful about this set! The 5918 Scorpion Tracker is undeniable proof that mole-people are secretly ruling the world – THE WHOLE WORLD!

Let’s take the obvious first. There’s not one but TWO tools for digging in this set. A shovel AND a pickaxe. First of all, who needs two tools for digging? That seems excessive. Unless…. unless you are trying to take over the world by undermining EVERYTHING – LITERALLY! And B! Who digs? Who’s life can be equated to digging? Who could not move without digging? MOLE PEOPLE – BOOOOOOOM! That’s the first clue that Mole People are controlling the world.

There’s more! Look at the wheels of the scorpion tracker. What do they remind you of? A pizza? Sure! Well spotted! And what do you do when you’ve eaten a pizza? You go to the toilet and p**p. And what is one of the most famous childrens books out there? The Story of The Little Mole Who Knew it Was None of His Business – a story that is FAMOUSLY about p**p! BOOOOOOOM!

But wait, there’s more! The scorpions in this set is undoubtedly dangerous. Some would even call them tiny monsters. And what is the BIGGEST monster? Godzilla! Where do we know Godzilla from? The movies! The first Godzilla movie produced in the US was Godzilla from 1998 with Matthew Broderick (aka Ferris Bueller!). Who played the news reporter in that movie? Harry Shearar! Harry voices several characters on The Simpsons. Who is a VERY IMPORTANT character in the Simpsons series? Hans Moleman! MOLEman! BOOOOOOOOM!

There you have it, the final evidence that super-intelligent mole people are secretly controlling the world!

Or, am I overanalyzing?